Okay but my favourite part of a Red Dwarf Harry Potter AU would be:
“You’re a wizard, Dave.”
“Who is?”
“You are, Dave.”
“What about my parents?”
“They were wizards, Dave.”
“Both of them?”
“Yes Dave, your whole family were wizards, Dave.”
“What about me?”
“You’re a wizard, Dave.”
“Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me I’m a wizard?”